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Game Reviews

Idle RPGs, MMOs, browser games and mobile RPGs, taken apart properly. Every review carries a score out of 10, what the game does well, what it does badly, and the kind of player it is actually for.

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Achievement Unlocked

A four-day joke about achievement bloat, built by Armor Games' first employee, that turned "do 100 arbitrary things to a blue elephant in one room" into a bigger hit than anything with actual level design that Armor Games shipped that month — and that got a real Steam re-release with real achievements fifteen years later, which is funnier than anything in the original script.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Amorphous+

A one-man Flash arena brawler about hitting blobs with an oversized sword, saved from disposability by a 110-medal award system that turns every fight into a checklist worth chasing — and still running today, cleanly, in Ruffle.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Bowmaster Prelude

A 2006 archery-and-castle-defense hybrid built by one small team to advertise its own sequel — thirty levels of click-and-drag ballistics and troop economy that still turns up millions of plays on the portals that hosted it, wearing a name that gets it mixed up with a completely different game every single day.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Launcher / distance game with upgrade progressioniOSBrowser

Burrito Bison

A luchador launches himself out of Candy Land, bounces off gummy bears for distance, and spends the loot on permanent upgrades — Juicy Beast's February 2011 debut launcher, still readable today as the rough draft for the much bigger Burrito Bison Revenge a year later.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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One-button endless runnerPlayStationiOSAndroid+1

Canabalt

A one-button endless runner built in five days for a "Bare Minimum" game jam in August 2009, given away free with no portal exclusivity, and now sitting in MoMA's permanent design collection as the game that invented the endless-runner genre — while remaining, on its own terms, about ten minutes of content that never asks anything new of you after the first run.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

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Coma

A Newgrounds exploration game a teenage Thomas Brush built alone in ActionScript 2.0, drawing over 8 million plays in 2010 on hand-drawn atmosphere and dream logic that its own fifteen minutes of gameplay can't fully carry.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Crush the Castle

A trebuchet-artillery destruction toy that Armor Games sponsored into a 2009 Flash hit and that keeps getting called "the game Angry Birds copied" — a claim that gets more complicated once you notice Crush the Castle licensed its own core idea from an earlier, smaller Flash game with the developer's blessing.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Cursed Treasure: Don't Touch My Gems!

A 2010 Flash tower defense that flips the genre's morality — you play the overlord, and the "heroes" are the wave of invaders trying to steal five gems out of your cave. A NotDoppler sponsorship deal turned it into, by the developer's own account, Kongregate's number-one-rated game for the better part of a year; a real skill-point system and a genuine difficulty wall around level 14 are why that reputation is only partly still deserved today.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

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Dad 'n Me

A ten-screen father-and-son beat 'em up that Tom Fulp and Dan Paladin uploaded free to Newgrounds in July 2005, won the Independent Games Festival's Best Web Browser Game award for it, and never followed up — a tighter, better-built game than the two-guys-prototype label usually implies, and still a short one underneath the rage meter and the charm.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Desktop Tower Defense

Paul Preece's one-man, ad-funded Flash game let players build the maze the enemies walked through instead of just shooting at a fixed road, and the idea spread to 15.7 million plays within four months of its March 2007 launch. Eighteen years on, the core puzzle still works; the presentation, the solo content, and the multiplayer spin-off that ran for over a decade have not all aged the same way.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

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Escaping the Prison

PuffballsUnited's second Henry Stickmin game locks its stick-figure lead in a cell with a mystery cake and thirty-six branching choices, and bets the whole experience on the joke waiting behind every wrong answer rather than on the puzzle logic of picking the right one — a bet that made it Newgrounds' most-viewed entry in the entire series within its first year.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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GemCraft

A two-person Hungarian studio's June 2008 Armor Games debut asked a simple question of the maze tower-defense format Desktop Tower Defense had just popularised — what if the upgrade path wasn't the tower, but a gem you could pull out, combine, and throw as a grenade — and built a persistent wizard-levelling meta-game around the answer that outlived Flash itself.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

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Happy Wheels

A ragdoll physics playground where the violence is the punchline — Jim Bonacci's free browser game turned decapitation into slapstick, built its longevity on a level editor that outgrew the base game by orders of magnitude, and outlived Flash itself through a 2020 rewrite most of its contemporaries never got.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

Read review of Happy Wheels

Launcher / Upgrade Arcade (Toss Game)Browser

Hedgehog Launch

John Cooney's 2008 Armor Games launcher sent a fictional nation's mascot hedgehog into space on a giant slingshot, added mid-air steering and an upgrade shop most toss games of the era didn't bother with, and became the template a string of later Flash launchers — including Learn to Fly a year on — visibly borrowed from.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Karoshi Suicide Salaryman

A Flash puzzle-platformer where every spike, saw and falling safe is the goal instead of the hazard, built by Jesse Venbrux as the third entry in a franchise that started life as freeware on Windows a few months earlier — which means half of what looks like a fresh idea here is the series repeating its best tricks for a bigger portal audience.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Kingdom Rush

A Uruguayan studio's first major project turned a portal sponsorship deal into the Flash browser era's most influential tower defense game — one that outlived the plugin it was built in by porting itself, tower by tower, onto seven other platforms while the original still runs today under emulation.

8 / 10

Reviewed

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Line Rider

A Slovenian design student's 2006 art-school sketch — draw a line, watch a sledder ride it under gravity — became a global phenomenon with no goal, no score and, deliberately, no eraser, and the question of whether it counts as a game is still the most interesting thing about it.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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Loved

A ten-minute Flash platformer from 2010 that opens by telling you your gender is wrong, then spends the rest of its length making you choose between a narrator's approval and your own defiance — and rigs the controls so that choice never feels comfortable either way.

7.5 / 10

Reviewed

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Motherload

A 2004 Flash mining game that turned "dig down, sell ore, buy a bigger drill" into one of the stickiest loops the portal era produced — sold for free on half a dozen portals at once, then sold again as a paid Goldium Edition for players who wanted more of exactly the same thing.

7 / 10

Reviewed

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N

A ninja falls, slides and wall-jumps through a wireframe apartment building full of homicidal robots, in the 2004 freeware download that taught a generation of Flash developers what momentum-based platforming could feel like — years before N+ or N++ existed.

8 / 10

Reviewed

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Newgrounds Rumble

A free browser brawler built entirely from Newgrounds' own mascots, in development for eighteen months before its May 2007 launch and still patched for two years afterward — it won the site's first-ever Game of the Year Tank Award, but its "Smash Bros. of Newgrounds" reputation oversells a combat system that actually plays out on a health bar, not a knockback meter.

7 / 10

Reviewed

Read review of Newgrounds Rumble